Life Lesson to be Remember Before 25: Greed Is Endless

A year ago, when I was still ambitiously looking for a perfect job, I asked this question to my friend. 
"How many of us who end up get the things he wants?"
At that time, I was really curious about how many people that finally end up in the company they want, in their first job. I mean, some people may not just have thought about what he wants to be, but also which career path he wants to pursue, and in which company he wants to work. 

So, when I tweeted that on Twitter, Nirmala, my friend in college, did not answer my question but said, 
"They said what we want is not always what is best for us. You will know later, some time in the future, when all the dots are connected. And, repeat after me: Greed is endless... Greed is endless... Greed is endless..."
I had no idea what she talked about. 24 years of my life, I always think that good result will follow whenever you work hard to achieve things you want. (Yes, currently people being attracted by the idea of work smart, not work hard. But what I meant here is that when you work wholeheartedly and pour more effort than your optimal ability). So, I thought it is okay to be ambitious and continuously want something better in life, as long as you have a good motivation for that (including to help the one in need), since this trait could elevate your life into a better place.

Naturally developing that thought, I suddenly felt bad when Nirmala mentioned her principle. Even more, I feel like I lost my identity by not ambitiously chasing something in my life. So, Nirmala comforted me. 
"People enjoy riding a bike in various ways. There is nothing wrong with riding up hill on full speed if you like it tho."

Yes, she is true. But a year later, when I end up doing this kind of job after took a wrong decision and things don't go as well as I expected, I just found out time to reflect, from the other friends said to me.

"What we can control is our effort, not the result. Because aside from the effort, there are various factors which determine the result, such as the material, character, mental, place and time." - Nitia.

In other words, when you failed in something you want, it might be because you might not have been prepared by the Almighty to receive it, since you are not in a right place and right time, at that time.

It is a soothing mind and another point of view that helps me to accept the current condition the way it is. Because even my friend, Mbak Rayda, know my tendency. That is why she said,

"I know you choose to fight, you are not the one who would choose to "lemesin aja" in a hard condition. But don't you realize that it brings you burden? By not accepting the condition?"

Those word slapped me hard. So, after Mbak Rayda and Nitia said so, I started to realized that there is no perfect job. The best thing we have is the thing that we choose to live it. No need to delusionally think that you are greater than yourself, that you will always be able to get what you want in life (whether the perfect job, nor the perfect company), that the things offered to you is not good enough for you.

Kindly admit it, when you face a failure, you are just a fool who are not capable to reach the required standard which created by your company charming. Need a lot of humbleness to accept that, while I am not someone who naturally possessed that trait.

It is because I always love by being a perfectionist since I was child, and this tendency leads me to expect that things will work exactly like my plan. I could be easily annoyed when it is not. Yes, I think I know what best for me. I think I know what makes me happy, but the truth is, like Nitia said, what we imagine is not as wide as God's plan to me. So, we need to be patient and open minded to accept what He gives to us.

@ditut, or Dita W. Ichwandardi, once said in Twitter,

"Sometimes our dreams can't be 100% turns into reality, but it is the path we need to go through, without complain. Let just say it is a school to enrich yourself, to train your mentality. It is wrong to grumble about the blessing given."

So, here I am, try to live what my inadvisable choice leads me to. Even though currently I feel angry, disappointed, miserable about my career (since I know that my current job force me to deploy onlly 10% from my optimum ability), but I try to manages the huge energy within, not in form of anger, but into a positive trigger that could lead me into something better, by continuously asking to myself,

"What else can I do? What else can I try? What else can I learn? What else can I experience?"

I try to write what I want and what I ever want in life in papers and keep in bottle. A big picture must be drawn, but to achieve it, I try to take gradual step, moving a little by little with an understanding, someday I will reach it. It is similar with what my friend, Barway said whenever he is exhausted while climbing the mountain.

"Little by little, I move on. Although I am slowly, but I know I will definitely get on top."

I am so happy to receive those kind of words, since my friend's supports always be an energy for me. They help me to shape my point of view and slowly answer the unwanted question that appeared when I am down. 

I guess things would be easier also, because some of them also shared their point of view to me. Like Doni, who also passed the  same miserable condition, exactly after he graduated from college. 

When everything seems to lead him into failure. Not only his business which does not work well, there is a problem with his apartment that he bought for investment, and funny yet miserable condition which forced him to eat instant noodle every time. But then, he said, he knew what is the best for him when he finally found a light, a way out in his frustration. It is when he finally got his job in Kudo

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Inez Hapsari media & public relations enthusiast | children stories writer | jazz lover | I live to the fullest to be young and in love.